A Stranger Told Me That I Am A Lesbian

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Let’s set the scene shall we?

It’s January the 4th. Frost adorned the ground leaving a chill in the air that nibbled at my cheeks. I huddled into the car, nuzzling my face into my coat to keep warm, as I embarked on my journey to return to the UK after spending Christmas in the states.

Okay, so, now the scene has been set let’s fast forward a bit

I sat among fellow fed up passengers waiting, while time was slowly being added to our already very delayed flight. Conversations started forming in a desperate bid for us all to keep ourselves entertained.

Here is how the conversation developed from there:

Her: ‘Oh, so, how long have you been with him for?’

The saddest thing is, it didn’t surprise me

Whenever my relationship status comes up in conversation, I never get asked who my partner is, it has always just been assumed that my partner must be a male because I look like a female.

But it seems to go a step further if you add bi / pan to the mix

For some reason that I just can’t fathom, it never seems to be as simple if I mention I am pansexual. This word just doesn’t seem to enter a person’s head. It’s like the general population (not everyone, but the majority I have had this conversation with), has a strange processing error in their brains that does something like this:

But does it really matter if they get your sexuality wrong?

In short, yes!

Bisexual and pansexual erasure is real and really needs to stop

This ‘correction’ the stranger kindly offered to me is all too common. Most people who identify as bisexual or pansexual have endured similar remarks, or have been subjected to such things on social media.

To clarify, let’s have a look at what bisexual and pansexual means shall we?

Stonewall defines bisexuality as:

It’s still happening

Everyday. That’s why we should talk about our experiences. I don’t think the person I met had any ill intentions, I think they were just ill informed.



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Tasha's Little Corner

Tasha's Little Corner


Hello! I write about equality, mental health, the climate crisis, and social justice. Welcome to my little corner of the world.